Canyon Diablo

Gazette Gossip

All the News That's Not Fit for Print!

All the News That’s Not Fit for Print!
Gathered by Suzie Q, your eyes and ears in Canyon Diablo!

In case you haven’t seen the signs up by the church, Freedom Patterson comes to town this Sunday to bring the Call of Destiny Revival to Canyon Diablo! Come forth to have your sins washed away, or at least your wallet, and Chicago Annie’s is having a celebration to welcome in Reverend Patterson! Third drink is on the house Saturday night – when the morning comes you can crawl out of the gutter and get your salvation!

Was all the smoke hiding the grisly murder of a young boy by one of the sheriff’s deputies? And was Daniel West falling to his knees in guilt, not grief? That’s what more than a couple church goers are curious about. A number of them have been waiting outside the jail for answers, and I’ve got a feeling the answers they want are in blood. And even still, there are mumbles like, “How much can we trust a sheriff the mayor hasn’t fully sworn in to serve justice to one of his own men?” Well, righteous boys and girls, we’ll just have to see!

There’s a new show coming to the Rialto in two weeks. Producer and theater owner Samuel Gates is awfully tight-lipped about it, but has let slip it’s a popular musical come all the way from Chicago. He’s even got the stagehands and ticket takers in the dark, but fear not readers – Suzie’s on the case!

It’s Canyon Pete’s 30th birthday and he’s throwing a huge party on Saturday! Music, dancing, and tres leche cake will abound! Stay late enough and the tequila’s sure to come out – Canyon Pete may make a safe, quiet living, but trust this humble lady: the man knows how to throw a party!

Doc Halliwell’s seat in the Road to Ruin’s starting to collect dust, and I’ve heard that it’s because of some little lady he’s taken a fancy to! Who would have ever imagined anyone would want something to do with that mountain of a man when he wasn’t paying or you weren’t bleeding to death? We’ll see how long this streak lasts, but I’ll be wondering where this little missy was back when he was helping to deliver my children through half a bottle of whiskey!

By accounts about town a gambler by the name of Edwin Ashford left Keno Harry’s with nearly $1,000 Monday night! And who says the house always wins? James Thorpe of the Gefroren Freud Ice Cream Emporium said he even got the shake Mr. Ashford’s hand and the gambler left a $50 tip for one cup of pistachio ice cream right before leaving town!

Despite being named as the company behind the attacks on the railworkers, a Bayou Vermillion train arrived in canyon Diablo today. What’s in it is unknown, but the boys down at the Silver palace said an angel of a woman came off the train and checked in – I even heard the waiters fighting over who got to bring her dinner up! I’m sure von Kraag’ll be on the case and ready to smoke the trouble (and the townfolk) out – and how many fires and false alarms will Dr. von Kraag be causing if we do elect such a scientific madman to public office?



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